Another year older

T

Birthdays also serve as validation of our identity.  We have been taught to evaluate ourselves and our progression through life by our age.   “At this age I will be in college” or “at this age I will be ready for retirement.”  One thing that birthdays do is make us think about “who am I” and “where am I in my life.”

As I evaluate my life on this birthday by all of the accepted norms I am now a bit past the mid-point of my life.  That makes me middle-aged.  My children are adults (at least in terms of age, at times I wonder based on behavior).  I have been married 24 years to the same wonderful woman.  This all seem pretty typical and on track compared with the norms.  But then consider the events of the past three months… maybe for me middle-aged was 20 years ago or perhaps with a new liver I might beat the norms and middle-aged is still a few year off.  Suddenly on track is skewed.  There is a lesson that I am learning.  That each and every day is important and should be a celbration.

We have so little idea of what our lives’ will hold.  We have expectations that we develop based on “normal” but the reality is that there is no “normal.”  We all face different and changing circumstances everyday.  What seems perfectly reasonable today may be completely unreasonable the next.  I am not one who has every cared much for birthdays and that is still true but I have come to realize is that we should make every day a celebration of life.  Lee Ann Womack’s song “I Hope you Dance” puts this quite eloquently:

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance… I  hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they’re worth taking,
Loving might be a mistake but its worth making,
Don’t let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to selling out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance… I hope you dance.

I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you’ll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

Dance…

As we sat at dinner tonight I had my entire family with me to celebrate.  That was worth far more than any gifts or fanfare.  We laughed and celebrated together.  Life has presented similar contradiction to those in the song but is has still be worth the journey.  Regardless of what happens with my health I realized in that moment that I was very blessed.  My family was eternal and while my health was precarious at the moment the eternal bonds of my family transcended time and that was what I needed to celebrate more than another birthday.