Fledglings

As parents we spend almost 20 years raising our children and preparing them to face the world on their own.  When they are small this seems simple, we teach basic lessons, but much of the effort is protecting them from the dangers of the world at large.  As they mature they progressively face more and more of the the world on their own.  Finally we reach the point where they are read to fledge from the nest, spreading their wings and flying as their own individual.  We have been through this process once with our eldest son a few years ago, this year it was time for our daughter, and youngest, to take flight.  As a parent you face this with many questions and concerns, have I prepared them adequately, have they learned the important lessons they will need to make their way in the world, will they have the strength and courage to stand strong amid the adversity that is sure to come.

As we have seen with our son there are occasions when they surprise you and you see glimpses of the person you know they can be, they surprise you with insight or maturity beyond their years.  At those moments you feel a sense of hope that maybe you did succeed as a parent and they will be okay.

Our daughter gave me just such a glimpse this last week.  She has been on her own at college just since the 2nd of January.  Within two weeks she experienced her first taste of the crewel adversity that comes with life.  She had a sledding accident and severely injured her knee.  Mom and Dad are 2,000 miles away and she is faced with the challenges of dealing with 4 weeks on crutches, 3 more weeks in a brace, without a car and at a campus built on a hill.  But amid all of this she wrote me a beautiful email, that was very selfless and insightful focusing not on her own challenges but mine.  Wither her permission I am sharing excerpts from that email.

I wanted to share something that I read with you.  I was reading in 1 Nephi 20:10 :

”For, behold, I have refined thee, I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction.”

Of course it’s referring to the refining of precious metals and  removing the impurities. But there was this snippet from the manual  that went along with it that I wanted to share.

Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles described  the personal sanctification he experienced following three major  surgeries:

”In the past two years, I have waited upon the Lord for mortal lessons to be taught me through periods of physical pain, mental  anguish, and pondering. I learned that constant, intense pain is a  great consecrating purifier that humbles us and draws us closer to  God’s Spirit. If we listen and obey, we will be guided by His Spirit 
and do His will in our daily endeavors.

“There were times when I have asked a few direct questions in my  prayers, such as, ‘What lessons dost Thou want me to learn from these  experiences?’

“As I studied the scriptures during this critical period of my life,  the veil was thin and answers were given to me as they were recorded  in the lives of others who had gone through even more severe trials.

“’My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine  afflictions shall be but a small moment;

“‘And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high’ (D&C  121:7-8)

“Dark moments of depression were quickly dispelled by the light of  the gospel as the Spirit brought peace and comfort with assurances  that all would be well.

“On a few occasions I told the Lord that I had surely learned the  lessons to be taught and that it wouldn’t be necessary for me to  endure any more suffering. Such entreaties seemed to be of no avail,  for it was made clear to me that this purifying process of testing was  to be endured in the Lord’s time and in the Lord’s own way”

I just wanted to share this with you because I’m pretty sure you can  relate. The important thing to remember although it sometimes can be  extremely difficult, is that somewhere in the middle of all this, you  are becoming closer to Heavenly Father and becoming more Christ like.  The times may be difficult but we have become closer as a family and  for that I’m extremely grateful.  I love you so much. For everything you have done for me. You have been a shining example for me even when  i don’t think you know it. Thank you. Thank you for never giving up on  me […]. It means a lot.

Make sure to take time out of your day even if you are exhausted for  some personal prayer and scripture study. He’s listening and he cares.  He will answer, even if it isn’t what you want to hear. But even more  importantly he will lift you up, and help you bear your burden.  […]  Thank you for your support this week with my knee, even though I know you’ve had  your own struggles much worse than my little knee. It means a lot 
every time you get on the phone to talk to me.

A thoughtful and insightful email such as this is the best reward a parent can receive.  It is the reassurance that you just may have succeed.  I am truly blessed to be surround be a loving wife that is so willing to care for and support me as well as two mature children who keep me in their thoughts and prayers and are willing to do all that they can. I truly have been blessed with a wealth that is greater than can be measure with gold.  This is yet another tender mercy the Lord has shown me.  A reminder that he is there to provide support, comfort and guidance as I make this journey.  That with His support and the support of family and friends I will make it.